Scott's attempt at binge drinking goes to waste

Endless Perspectives - episode 926

Scott, in one pathetic sign of machismo, downs the pint of beer in five seconds. He slams the bottle down on the table and says "Gimme more!" There's no stopping Scott now.

"Aaar matey, that's th' way!" says the pirate as he hits his own pint and hands Scott another one. The pirate's crew soon enter to join the fun.

Scott downs this pint. He starts feeling a little buzzed. "Gimme another pint, pirate!" he says.
"Here ya go, Scotty boy!" says a crewmate, passing him a 40 ounce bottle.
Scott guzzles the 40 like nobody's business. He polishes it off, feeling a little more buzzed. His vision is a bit blurred, and his speech is off somewhat. "Gimme shomethin' harder, guys!" Scott smiles.

Scott follows by doing a few shots of Jack Daniels, another five pints of beer, and three shots of Wild Turkey, the strongest poison on the boat. Scott is so wasted after this, but he don't care. "Barkeep! More drinksh all arounda, on the (hic!) doublesh! Who here wantsh uh few moresh shotsh of Jackie Dannysh?! Huh, huh?" The pirates laugh, some just as drunk as Scott.

Two more shots of Jack, and Scott is dancing naked on the tables. The pirates are laughing themselves sick. "Wheresh the girlsh at? Cummon, you pirateshhh didn't invite any chicksh over?" Scott smiles drunkenly.

The party lasts all night, even though Scott passes out drunk after four more shots of Wild Turkey and half a pint of vodka. At 6 AM, all the pirates stumble into bed, sleeping all day. Twelve hours later, Pirate, extremely hungover, creeps into the room to find Scott, still face down on the floor, completely naked. He hadn't moved. Pirate panics, getting a mirror and putting it to Scott's lips. He wasn't breathing! In fact, he hadn't been breathing for several hours. "No, matey, don't go on us now! Wake up, Scott!" cries Pirate as he attempts to shake Scott awake. Scott died from alcohol poisoning, the autopsy revealed. Scott's spirit made its way to the hereafter...

  1. Scott stays dead, and has adventures in the afterlife.
  2. Scott wakes up in heaven.
  3. Scott ends up in hell somehow.
  4. Scott meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
  5. S.A.T.A.N. gives Scott a new plot and reason to live.
  6. It's limbo for Scott.
  7. Scott's spirit makes its way to Metropolis, occupying Superman's body.
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Ben McClellan (I got 926!)

Fri Jan 22 00:36:35 1999

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