"Until a few years ago, I was normal. Then one day, I went down the stairs and I could find myself anywhere in the world!" explained Scott. "I could find myself in shipping company offices, in otherworldly dimensions, you name it...I've probably been there three times or more. Long ago, I learned that I cannot control this. My fate is controlled by beings of higher nature. I can live or die in a moment's notice. I've pretty much learned to live with it, since I can't do anything about it without serious retaliation from the ones who control me."
Scott looked at the twenty inhabitants of the mining camp. Most of them had blank expressions on their faces. Either Scott had either confused the bloody hell out of them, or they were not impressed. Finally, one of them, a big burly man named Barry spoke. "So Scott, exactly where have you been in these (ahem) travels?"
Feeling a bit more at ease, Scott talked about some of his misadventures, like ending up in an unmade Super Mario Brothers game, trapped in a flooding YMCA, his misadventures in Game 4 ("I'd get sent there by some wizard, only to get plucked back by one of the superiors, and sent back again days later..."), as well as the chain of events that brought him to the mining camp. Scott also talked about meeting some of the higher beings, as well as Superman, James Bond, the mysterious "You", and all of the weird people he's encountered since episode 2.
The inhabitants of the mining camp were getting into the story, and Scott could tell they had a lot of questions to ask. Then Scott made a critical faux pas and began talking about how many times he's been killed.
"You big phony!" crowed one miner. "You can't die all that many times and be brought back! You're just probably really knocked out!"
"I'm serious, guys!" protested Scott. "I've been erased from history, I've exploded, been turned into puree in a giant blender, committed suicide, everything! These people control every bit of my life, and within a moment's notice, I die. It's the truth! Try living my life sometime!"
The miners' expressions of disbelief made it perfectly clear to Scott that he'd end up getting thrown back out into the cold before too long. But Scott began having a strange feeling. He knew he was going to be transported elsewhere in the next few moments...He just needed the witty goodbye to make it look real.
"And one more thing, guys..." said Scott. "I never do know where I'll be sent next, or when!"
"Yeah right, kid. Now quit wasting our time!" shot back Ted, another big miner.
Scott didn't reply. He didn't need to. A flash of blinding light, and Scott was gone. The miners were all speechless. Rick and Alan began searching the room.
"Where the hell did that kid go?" asked Barry, in disbelief.
The miners began searching the entire camp.
Where did Scott go to, anyway?
Fri Dec 25 01:06:43 1998